When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
