wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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