then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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