OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
