Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
