i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
