Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
