You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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