U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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