officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
