Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
