He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
