Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
