You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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