Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
