My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
