Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
