it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
