JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
