I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
