Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
