I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
