Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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