Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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