someone owes me an orgasm
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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