i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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