i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
