it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize