So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
