just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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