dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize