I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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