the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
