i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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