I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
