ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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