He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
