your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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