Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
