So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
