What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
