I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
