Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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