Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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