In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
