I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
