Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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