yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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