this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
