Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
