Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
