I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
