I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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