Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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