if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize