It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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