What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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