Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize