so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
